Standing out online an be hard. Standing out online if you are selling can be even harder.
This past week I found myself struggling to show up online for my business.
What’s my deal? What’s with the funky energy?
I had a choice. I could beat myself up over not ‘feeling it’, or I could give myself grace and dig deep to see what’s going on. This process looks different for everyone but it is worth exploring. It may include deep thought reflection, journaling, meditation, talking out your feelings with a trusted friend, etc. Whatever you do, don’t let the weird energy linger. Though my own process, I realized I hadn’t been making time for personal development. Personal development is a world I immersed myself into several years ago and I find it extremely helpful in managing my mindset and motivating me for success. I used to listen to podcasts regularly, putting them on in the background while i was working throughout the day, but my routine changed when my husband began working from home in March. He has since returned to the office but I have not integrated podcasts back into my routine. This slight change was making a big impact because it took away the time I invested into filling my own cup with positive vibes, love, insight, coaching and fun.
The fix in this case was easy. I just needed to make time for personal development to help me get out of my head and into my heart. I needed to get back to being me. I had been guilty of comparisonitis, you know, when we fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to everyone in our online circles. See, without personal development, my ego takes the wheel and all the yucky feelings creep in. I start looking around instead of forward. I start worrying about what others are doing and stop focusing on myself and what I want. When we feel yucky, we often don’t feel inspired to share, or we share with a cloudy message. This can be a problem in our business. We think the problem is that we don’t know what to post, but really the problem is we don’t know what we want to say. When this happens, it is a clear sign to me that I am out of alignment.
It is important to recognize your pattern before you spiral. I know for me, if left to my own devices my mind wanders down the path of destruction. My message gets mixed up, my attitude shifts my energy and my audience feels that. Women especially are the queens of compound emotions. We feel bad and then we get mad that we feel bad which makes us sad and then we start to feel crazy for feeling all these feelings and none of them feel good which makes us feel even worse. Sound familiar?
As soon as it starts feeling hard to share about yourself or your business, ask yourself what’s going on? Are you disconnected from your message? Are you sharing from a place of inspiration or the vibe that you need to put out content today? Are you feeling overwhelmed in some areas of your life? Are you taking care of you?
Standing out online is all about showing up powerfully as your authentic self and crafting your message so you are speaking to your ideal buyers. If we are struggling with confidence or messaging this is going to be difficult. People who try to fake it come off… well fake. Being you gives your people an opportunity to get to know you and connect with you and connection leads to influence, growth and sales. Getting back to feeling great as yourself is step one. Engage, engage, engage in posts, groups and messages to be sure you are creating new conversations and leads. Identifying pain points or aspects of convenience in your products or services helps tap into your buyers emotional spectrum which helps them connect to you. Providing value lends a new level of legitimacy to you and your business and gives people a taste of what it is like to be in your energy and shop with you.
Need some more ideas? Here are 5 ways you can show up powerfully online each day:
I would love for you to share the ways you fill your cup, your favorite podcasts or any other thoughts you have around the topics discussed here. Feel free to drop them in the comments.
#1 – Grow yourself Frankly whether you are in business or not, growing yourself should be at the top of your to do list. Growing ourselves is a broad term but it involves working to know yourself better and more deeply, it is recognizing and acknowledging the patterns we all have that keep us playing small, safe, stuck and in our heads instead of in our hearts.
#2 – Refine your message Whether you are selling handmade goods or high end jewelry, you’ve got to know your customer base and craft your messaging to speak directly to those customers. Refining your messaging and marketing to attract your ideal buyers and close the sale will help your engaged audience grow and allow you to deepen the conversation quickly.
#3 – Be willing to invest If you are not investing in yourself and your business growth you are basically telling the universe- I’m good where I’m at. So if you’re not good where you’re at, it’s time to invest in that new equipment, those bulk supplies, that course or coach you’ve dreamed of working with because stretching yourself to learn, do and be accountable will undoubtedly lead to business growth. Work harder, not smarter.
#4 – Do the things you’ve been putting off At the risk of sounding like mama bear, you have got to do the things you say you are going to do. So, if you’ve got a list of things you’ve been putting off, create the time to get them done. Cleaning up the mental clutter has its benefits, being a woman of your word is priceless. #5 – Prepare & Trust Plan for your products, your offers, your programs with excitement and then trust that they will sell. Sounds easy, and it does take some practice but if we’ve created the offer in the most amazing energy, knowing it is high quality and beneficial, then all we must do is trust the right buyer will come along and fall in love. Does that mean we shouldn’t share our offer? Of course not! To strategize, market and map out sales and profits are all part of the plan. But once the plan has been rolled out, there’s nothing to do but wait for to close the sale. Trust the timing of our buyers money blueprint and desires. How we do one thing is how we do everything- life, love, parenting, marriage, business, so the willingness to look at all of these areas and the commitment to improve them means your life and business have the opportunity to be everything you’ve ever dreamed!
It is not easy work, but it is worth it work!
If you are not already hanging with us over on Facebook in Get It Together, Girl, join us today for extra support, motivation, exclusive trainings and a sisterhood of women excited to see others succeed.
Growing old is a privilege denied to many but there is no denying that watching the ones we love get old sucks. This past week was especially tough for my family and the coming weeks will likely get tougher. Things sometimes get worse before they get better.
Lots of emotions have come up these past few days which got me thinking about our feelings, how to get to the root of them and how to navigate them toward healing. Here is what I’ve come up with:
There is no such thing as a negative emotion.
Before you beg to differ, hear me out. Negative is defined as a word or statement that expresses denial, disagreement or refusal. But whether we agree or accept things does not change their existence or their impact on our lives. There are emotions that feel good and emotions that feel bad but I do not believe any emotion is negative, emotions just are and we assign each a meaning based on how they make us feel.
This is important to recognize because when we allow our emotions to take on an identity of their own, we become a victim to their wrath.
When we take control of emotions, allow ourselves to feel them fully, dig deep to the root of what we are feeling and why, we have all the control over how they affect us moving forward.
This can be especially difficult in the heat of the moment but if we can allow ourselves to pause and think to ourselves “how do I want to remember this?”, we can respond without reacting, we can communicate our needs and desires concisely and we can do so with grace and class.
Yeah, yeah, yeah…. but HOW?
First, stop the behaviors that make you feel worse and try not to blow things out of proportion. Try to be reasonable and accept that bad feeling emotions are sometimes unavoidable. Relax and decompress by removing yourself from the situation so you can think, process and lean into what you need. It’s okay to cry it out. Or punch a pillow. It is also okay to vent about how you are feeling but, if rehashing the situation makes you feel worse, avoid this until you’ve calmed down. Having a little pity party can help us fully feel what we are experiencing while providing the space for us to let go. We cannot, however, live in pity land so party it up and then it’s time to go.
Autumn is a great reminder of how beautiful it can be to let things go
Harboring uncomfortable feelings is like playing ball with a ticking bomb. It’s only a matter of time before it explodes and when it does, everyone will feel the fury. Instead of exploding, if we can dig through our feelings, understand ourselves enough to know what we need in those moments and communicate them, we can resolve our issues without (okay, with much less) drama.
I don’t think it is ever the load that breaks us, but the way we carry it and boy has the universe added lots to the load this week. What I have learned is that life unfolds as it should and by mastering our emotions we can achieve mastery over so many other things. Mastering our emotions means better relationships, deeper communication, personal growth, success in business, but it all starts with who be are being in the hard moments. It is easy to be happy when things are going right, but what about when things are upside down? If we can manage ourselves in the upside down moments, we have truly got ourselves, no matter what!
Say it with me – I’ve got me, no matter what!
I want you to know this changes everything. When we have got ourselves, when we have our own back, when we have no problem being our own rescue mission, our vibe changes. Suddenly we are fully available for anything and everything because we need nothing outside of ourselves. Everything we are is enough. Anything we need, we can provide. Every aspect of love, support, friendship, romance we experience is an addition to our greatness. Even when things don’t go right. Even when we feel bad. We can do hard things and that includes navigating our yucky feeling emotions so we can begin to feel good again.
I know I need extra self love and compassion this week, so if you do too, this is your reminder to give yourself what you need. Please feel free to share any thoughts with me in the comments.
If you have big goals you are ready to crush, keep reading.
If you have given up on goal setting because you are tired of disappointment, keep reading.
Goal setting helps guide our focus, foster accountability and organize our time and life in a way that maximizes success and happiness. Worthwhile stuff!
If you have given up on goal setting, I hope this inspires you to give it another shot. Now is always the perfect time to say ‘yes’ to yourself and I am going to break down exactly how I set goals and nail them and how you can to.
It is natural to want to set goals from our logical brain. The logical brain is in charge of all things analytical – things like math and science but also things like evidence based facts, sequencing and logic. When it comes to goal setting, we often look to the logical, the evidence we can find for or against, and set goals from there. This is a great place to start but it is only a part of the picture. A small part. Here’s why….
When we set goals based only on the evidence we can find to support our desires, we stifle our dreams and play small. We don’t mean to but as adults, we often have a hard time believing in the unknown. As adults, we want the sure thing. We have a hard time getting out of our heads and into our hearts in order to remember our desires. If you can think back to your childhood, to a time when you believed in Santa and the Tooth Fairy and Leprechauns and channel that energy when you goal set, it makes the head-to-heart shift that much easier.
You may have heard of SMART goals – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time Bound. SMART goals are great because they help us get specific, precise and time orient our goals. The problem with SMART goals is they check all the analytic boxes but none of the energetic ones.
If you have been a part of my world for a while, you know I believe wholeheartedly that life is full of energetic exchanges. We trade energy in exchange for all kinds of things: money, tangible objects, food and we use energy to guide us towards our desires helping us lived fulfilled, happy lives.
When it comes to setting goals, we must first lead with desire and energy. THEN we can take those desires and apply them to the SMART model. But what if our goals seem too big to specify, measure and put to a time frame? That means you have done a great job of dreaming big and you are ready to activate your next level goals!
I personally do not use the SMART method of goal setting, but if you like it and it works for you, then use it! What I prefer is what I refer to as the PPP method. Each month, I set three goals:
– a predictable goal
– a possible goal
– a potential goal
A predictable goal is one I know I can hit.
This goal is set based on my history and the evidence available at the time.
A possible goal is one I would really love to achieve, but it would be a stretch.
This goal is set without evidence of the sure thing, but fueled with desire and with a commitment to growth- I think I can do it.
A potential goal is one that would be absolutely amazing to achieve, but makes absolutely no sense. We don’t have evidence, we don’t even have any idea what it may look like, but boy, wouldn’t it be incredible?!
When we set PPP goals we get to be both realistic and big dreamers. We get to plan for the known and expand into the unknown. Reassessing and re-evaluating monthly helps us to track our progress and change course as needed. It sets us up to WIN!
Now I happen to be a bit left brained myself so I do love to track the numbers and of course, from here we can be as detailed as we would like about our goals and how we plan to achieve them. There is a required level of action in all things, but do be mindful not to fall into hustle mode being sure to remember that things meant for us come easily with alignment, not time.
It is easy to believe that we won’t be able to because we haven’t been able to but that mentality is only going to get us more of the same, which is nothing we want. We can surely find evidence of any belief if we look hard enough for it so instead of doubling down on doubt let’s tap into the goals that feel amazing to achieve and run with them!
What goals are you setting in your life and business this month? Feel free to comment below or reply and email me!
If you need some extra support, jump into my newest program, Aligned by Design where we will be deep diving into our goals and more. We start this evening and I am so excited to walk with the 7 amazing women already signed up!
If you’re reading this, I hope your Thanksgiving weekend was amazing and you are fully immersed in the holiday rush. I wish you the stamina to power through and more abundance than you’ve ever known! With Thanksgiving in the rear view, we are officially fully immersed in the holiday season and if you have own a business, chances are this is a busy time of year for you. Despite the busy season, it is important to take some time to plan for your business in 2021.
Casting the vision for growth and expansion is so much fun!
Finding time to map it all out – tougher than it sounds…
That is why during this busy season it is important to remember that progress, not perfection is the key to success. As a matter of fact, expectations of perfection have no place in business at all. The best success I have ever created has come from aligned, messy action. Waiting around for things to be ‘perfect’ is a great way to (subconsciously) take yourself out of the game before you even start.
If you can’t quite look to 2021 yet because your business is not where you hoped it would be, it’s not too late to generate record breaking sales for December. Create it, take messy action, launch! Then look to your sales, desires and dreams and plan what you’d like your business to look like for the next 12 months.
If you have been killing it in business, congrats! Abundance is a powerful space to power the shift into your 2021 vision and business plan. Build on what you have built and keep your momentum rolling!
I am so incredibly excited for the shifts, expansion, and limitless possibilities 2021 brings. My commitment to being the best leader, example and support for my tribe has deepened and I am ready to lock arms and run! If you’re with me, be sure you are inside my Facebook community, Get It Together, Girl – it’s where I release my newest offers first and host free trainings!
Focusing on movement, on progress this season makes reaching your goals an enjoyable experience, even when we are stretching ourselves to new levels. Taking steps toward progress each day establishes evidence that we can reflect back on, helping to reinforce the belief that you.can.do.it! Remember, whether you say you can or your say you can’t, you’re right!
So go be right about having all the shit you really want! Trying to be perfect keeps us small, because perfection needs predictability – it craves the sure thing! It also robs us of the celebrations we earn with each step (or misstep) of our journey.
2020 has been an interesting year full of lessons, memories and change. Lots of change. I think we are all ready to kiss 2020 goodbye.
A new year feels magical. 365 new chances. A fresh start. Renewed goals and dreams. New hope for our future.
New Year’s Resolutions give us, even for just a moment, the feeling that anything is possible. So each year, we create new resolutions. They stick for a while, then the magic fades. We begin to recognize our old patterns and soon we are just as disappointed with our current reality as we were with the one before. We get frustrated, feel defeated and begin to believe things will never change.
The truth is, when nothing changes, nothing changes.
As we say hello to a new year, we also say hello to new vision and focus for our future. New commitments to ourselves. Something happens when we give our word and keep it. I was really good at keeping my word to others but once I began keeping my word to myself, things shifted.
If you make one commitment to yourself for 2021, let it be to keep your word. Be intentional about the things you agree to and refuse. Decide based on what fuels your desires and brings you joy.
This new year, I wish you the opportunities to practice the discipline necessary to honor yourself and your decisions. May you trust yourself enough to know that it will work out in your favor once you’ve decided. When your word becomes your unbreakable contract, you unlock your potential to achieve anything you set your mind to. Anything you decide to do. That is power. That breeds confidence.
I am hosting a 5 week intensive program called Rock Your Resolutions at Integrity U, a hands on, intimate experience where we will take goal smashing to another dimension and practice flexing our discipline muscles. Click the link or head over to the Coaching Services tab to learn more.
I would love to hear your resolutions. Drop them in the comments to keep ourselves accountable.
My 2021 goals are to drink half my body weight in water each day; move and stretch daily; read one book a month; further my influence and impact 100 lives; do something to further my goals each day; remember I am POWERFUL beyond measure; have a six figure year.